Just When I Thought I the Meds Were Kicking In …
… this meme hits the Internet -- Google your name with the word "needs" and see what comes up. Total nonsense or eerily prophetic … you decide.

Amy needs to either wake up or start getting some extra will-power.

I don't believe that Amy needs sex.*

Amy is a vibrant women with emotional and physical needs.*

Amy is a sweet 8-year-old flat-coated retriever and German shepherd mix.**

We see how Amy needs and helps the horse and how he needs and helps her.**

We really need to shed the dead weight of pathetic appeasers like Amy.

Amy needs to mend her ways and be more of a team player.

Pivotel Skin in Shade D is perfect for Amy, whose olive skin takes a beating.

Amy needs to decide if the boys ought to be transferred to "adult court."

I can even send free voicemails with Amy.

Amy's UI needs quite a bit more work though.***

What if Amy needs an emergent Caesarean?

And my personal favorite:

Bad shoes and backtalk -- this never happened when Intern Amy was here.

Happy Friday, everyone.

*So which is it? And apparently, I'm a women.
**What's with the animal theme?
***"Amy" is Skype's new answering machine feature. But that crack about my interface needing work jibes with the fact that I'm waaaaay overdue to visit the gym. It must be that emergent Caesarean that's got me tripped up.

Ponch Gets His Retirement On
So just how many resort communities is Erik Estrada shilling for these days? Hmm, I've seen him pitching on early morning infomercials for Hot Springs Village, Florida; California Pines; Ocean Shores, Washington; and some backwoods mosquito factory called Tellico, Tennessee. I worry that poor Ponch has been duped into pitching acreage for what will, one day, certainly become a series of Love Canals. Really, can you imagine the depositions? "Yeah, Jimmy Bob Junior's hair always glowed funny after getting out of that there lake!" or "Boy, that darn dishwater made my Corelle plates glow in the dark! I never had to buy candles after moving here!" or "What? You never seen a dog with 5 legs? Damn, where you from? Every 12th dog round these parts has an extra leg or ear or whatnot!"

Stop, Ponch, before it's too late!

Hi Kids, Amy here: I know I haven't been writing about knitting, lately (pleasedon'tkickmeoffthelist); I'm just trying to get into the habit of merely writing again. I've also read every single one of your comments and again, though I haven't written anyone back individually, I want to thank each of you for your kind words. They mean so much. OK. I'm off to ponder more of life's conundrums, such as, "Why does the guy that sells Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Oven on TV look like he's been enbalmed?"

So my sister and I are talking on the phone the other day, and we're commiserating about our mutual struggle with compulsive overeating, especially when under stress. DS says she went to an Overeater's Anonymous meeting last week, and it was good for her.

"I think I'm starting to understand the "giving it up to a Higher Power" part, now," she says. "I didn't when I tried a meeting a few years ago."

"Oh, really," I say, "When did you go to an OA meeting?"

"Oh, about 5 years ago. But it wasn't right for me. The woman next to me had bare feet, and she picked at them during the entire meeting. Then we had to get up and hold hands and say the Serenity Prayer. It was really hard to take in the message while holding this woman's hand."

Amen, sis, amen.

This show has got me hooked like a fish on a line. How could you not love a story line about a character whose modeling career as a Page 3 girl has been ruined due to the burning of her br*asts during a tragic dining accident on the eve of her wedding? Especially when the character has a name like (I kid you not) Chardonnay? I mean, come on!

Happy Monday, everyone.

Saw the funniest thing as I was driving about last Saturday -- signs for a yard sale that morning. Not plain 'ol "Yard Sale" and an arrow, but a series of cleverly written come-ons that, I'm sure, packed 'em in.

First Sign: SHORT BUT INTENSE! Yard Sale

Second Sign, 1/4 mile away: FIVE CRAZY HOURS!

Third Sign: Kitchenware, Toys, Clothes, OBJECTS OF MYSTERY!

Fourth Sign: EPISODE IV, PURGE OF THE HOUSEHOLD!

Fifth Sign: EARLY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING (for those you really don't care much about)

And no, I didn't go. I didn't want to spoil the build-up from those nutty signs.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Color Me Medicated
DH has been (gently) bugging me to start blogging again. Sigh. So here's my reluctant re-entry into blogdom -- the MIT Weblog Survey:



Thank you to everyone who took the time to email or leave a comment -- please know that I read and appreciated every single one, but really wasn't in a place to respond to them. Still not sure if I am, so for the immediate future entries might be a bit one-way.

Peace, Love, 'n Prozac,
Amy

After a False Start, a Brief Respite
Hey kids, Amy here. I'm taking a blog break of indeterminate length, to deal with a nasty bout of depression. It's been coming on since Thanksgiving of last year, and has reached a crisis point in the last few weeks. I have a good support system in place (LCSW for talking, PhD for meds), and hope to see the clouds lift in a few weeks. Right now, however, I'm down in the trenches fighting to gain ground. I'm going to be OK, but I'm stretched real thin and blogging just ain't a priority when getting up and getting into the shower every day is a major victory. Beam a few positive thoughts my way, and I'll see you soon.

Make.It.Go.Away.
Please. Stop the insanity!

Nathalie requested a "No Poncho" button -- it's on the sidebar for all you fellow Anti-Serape types :-) Please copy it to your own web hosting server -- stealing bandwidth ain't cool. But you knew that.

Happy Monday, everyone.

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown.
One week ago today, a certain Domestic Goddess was set free from her government-sponsored sabbatical. She was shown exiting the prison wearing this:



Said garment was purportedly made for Martha by a fellow camper; all in all, a nice gesture. And nice of mega-bucks Martha, who could have swathed herself in head-to-toe designer togs for her highly photographed prison exit, to wear such a humble gift. Kudos to her for that.

My quibble? The garment in question is a poncho. A frickin' poncho. It's already been a watershed year for The Return of The Poncho, with yarn companies and pattern designers falling all over themselves to feed the Poncho Jones that's been created.

Don't get me wrong. Ponchos are mucho comfy, hide a multitude of figure flaws, and are eminently makeable for even the most novice knitters or crocheters. My main gripe lies with, again, the pattern and yarn manufacturers who, since Martha's release last Friday, have stuffed my email box with breathless announcements of coming poncho patterns "Just like Martha's!" Lion Brand and Herrschners battled all week to be first. The winner? Herrschners, with a poncho made from Bernat's Galaxy yarn.

Hey, I'm no less guilty than anyone else. I hopped on the Poncho Train when it first left the station about 2 years ago, knitting up this cute number from Lopi #21 (see Design #10 on the page). My sister and mom love it, and mom has sort of commandeered it. I even knit 2 quickie Peruvian Alpaca ponchos for the wives of my husband's triathlon coaches.

A glimmer of hope arrived in my mailbox this week: the latest Patternworks catalog. Yes, a fair number of ponchos were featured, but the ratio is slowwwly tilting back toward more traditional knitwear. And I, for one, am glad. I started mentally totting up all the "must-have" knit items of the last two years. Imagine piling all this stuff on and going out the door: Knit or crocheted poncho, felted clogs or slippers, novelty yarn scarf, felted handbag (with knitted facecloth tucked firmly inside), and for heaven's sakes, don't forget your prayer shawl. Not a pretty sight.

So, in honor of my husband's comment as I finished up the Lopi Poncho ("Nice serape, sweetie."), I am officially declaring AmyKnits! to be a No Poncho Zone. The Official Ambassador of the No Poncho Zone is the Ultimate Bad *ss Poncho Wearer of All Time, Mr. Clint Eastwood as seen in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. Anyone got any complaints? Take it up with Clint. But only if you feel lucky. Well, do ya?



Happy Friday, everyone.

52 people at yesterday's Open House. One offer faxed in to our realtor at 10pm last night -- a lowball offer from a newlywed couple hoping for a steal. We're countering with a higher number. We'll see what happens (most likely nothing).

DH is a training maniac these days -- he biked 34 miles on Saturday and ran about 8 miles on Sunday, all to get ready for this in 2 weeks -- The Ralph's California Half-Ironman. I am in complete awe of his discipline and determination. The percentage of people on this planet who even compete in triathlons is incredibly small (about 1%). Of that 1%, how many are 52yo men? An even tinier percentage. Amazing.

So you think that'd inspire me to run, bike or swim, myself? Ha. I'm going through a fitness & diet slump of epic proportions, dating back to around Thanksgiving. I know what I need to do, but have yet to do it. Very discouraging.

While cultivating my middle-aged spread even further, I did manage to get a bunch of knitting done:



I'm a bit worried -- it's looking very wide and short for a sweater. Of course, being a Commando Knitter (to hell with gauge or trying the darn thing on), I've bullied ahead and knit the body and about 1/2 of the first sleeve before I discovered the possible (mis)fit problem. Sigh.

Happy Monday, everyone.

An Embarrassment of Riches
I'm swimming in Winning Bottlecaps from the recent Pepsi/iTunes promotion:



Six, count 'em, six winning iTunes caps and two "buy 1 liter, get 1 free" caps. Don't you wish you were me? I know I do.

No "new house" pictures, but some knittin's goin' on here at Amy Knits! Amazing, but true:



That blurry pile of oat-colored knitting will eventually grow up to be this:



From my seemingly never-ending supply of Lion Brand Wool-Ease in the Wheat Sprinkle colorway.

On the Old House Front: another Open House this Sunday. Wish us luck.

Happy Friday, everyone.

The Good
60 people at the realtor's Open House yesterday.

The Bad
Digital camera still MIA.

The Ugly
Revel in Post-Oscar Fugliness.

Happy Monday, everyone!

She's Baaaack!

File Under "What The?": The Mancho!

See ya soon, peeps. Digital camera is on the down low, chillin' in a moving box. Getting ready for an Open House on the "old house" this Sunday. Busy, busy. All yarn packed in boxes. I'm going through withdrawal. Peace out.

Happy New Year!
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I know I did.

Big news! Chez Yarnover is moving to a new (larger!) house! Plus, my brother (a Navy petty officer) will be bunking with us while he takes a class here in San Diego. Quel chaotic! So until we're moved (target date: end of January), posts will be sporadic. Bear with me!

Happy Monday and Happy New Year to everyone.

Merry Christmas to All

See you in 2005!

You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry ...
... or it's a lump of coal for you, pally! No coal for this gal -- got my last little bit o' stunt knitting done for Christmas ... another KidSilk Haze 3x1 ribbed Super Scarf for a coworker. She's such a Guessy Guesser though -- I'm going to have to throw her off track by packing the scarf in with something heavy like a book or candy.

Here's another present of the non-holiday variety -- a going-away present for another coworker. She's moving from San Diego back to her home state of Maine, so I thought a scarf would be appropriate. I'm using this pattern from Mountain Colors:



and this yarn:



The KFI Cashmerino is the same as Debbie Bliss's yarn of the same name, under the mill's own label. Rumor has it this yarn will be discontinued, which is a shame. It's several $$ cheaper than the DB label, and the colors are gorgeous.

Look who came to work with me yesterday:



It's little Hal the Cockatiel! Remember him? The parrot that RockStar "had to have," and promptly ignored 2 days after we brought him home. He's been a tiny blessing. He goes to work with me every 8 weeks or so for the afternoon, and has a lot of fun rambling around on my desk and visiting everyone in the office. Don't let his tiny size fool you -- he's got a larger-than-life personality and loves attention from anyone who'll give it. I'm of the opinion that everyone should have a feathered crest on top of their head -- no one would be able to lie about anything. Hal broadcasts his every feeling with that little topknot of feathers. It's quite comical at times.

Happy Tuesday, everyone :-)

Think This'll Do the Trick ...
... for a 7yo niece who loves PINK?



I thought so too.

Specs: Red Heart Bright 'n Lofty yarn in Bubble Gum. Approx. (2) 4-oz. skeins (I "barely" tapped into a 3rd skein to finish the fringe).
Directions: Start with Yarn Harlot's Very Harlot Poncho pattern. Provisionally cast on 42 stitches on size 10.5 circular needles, knit in pat for 18", bind off. Pick up provisional stitches in neckband, knit 2 rows of K1P1 ribbing, then one row of YO, K2tog to form a row of eyelets. Knit 5 more rows of K1P1 ribbing, then bind off in ribbing. Chain crochet a 24" long tie (approx. K crochet hook). Weave tie through the eyelets on the neckband. Cut enough 12" strands to form fringe along bottom edge of poncho. Weave in all ends. Send to your favorite niece!

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Just for You, Bron ...
...knitting pictures!


Specs:
Peruvian Connection "Cuzco", 6 skeins each
Pattern: Elann.com
Colors: Deepest Black & Moonlight Blue
Project Rating: EASY! Finished both ponchos in a weekend and one weekday evening, including blocking. The alpaca is super lofty and very warm.

On a Different Wavelength
OK, so I love this show. I have it set up on the TiVO unit upstairs, and have been watching it while using my elliptical trainier (aka: the clothes hangar). This lady is such a trip! I love the English Country Dominatr1x look she sports. I tried this with my dog as he lay on the floor next to the elliptical. I got a yawn in response. But my parrots seem to pick up something from me ... some vibe or energy. They cock their heads and give me thoughtful looks when I try this sy-kick stuff on them. Spooooky!

Happy Friday, everyone.

Can you believe it? A knitting picture:

Disregard wonky camera angle; it really is a rectangle


I got 12 skeins of this (6 skeins of Deepest Black and 6 skeins of Moonlight Blue) to make 2 of these. The only problem? This alpaca is sending me into a histamine hissy fit! My nose is totally stuffed up and my eyes are watering the entire time I work with it. I'm ordering a bottle of this to see if dust mites are the problem. I've got the 2 black rectangles blocked and ready to sew. The 1st blue rectangle is done; the 2nd is 1/3 done. Heaven help my nasal passages 'til I'm done. Nasal Update! We're having a "Cold Santa Ana Wind." Usually Santa Ana winds usher in 80-degree temps. We're having a cold version, and it's wreaking havoc with my sinuses. Phew! I didn't want to blame the yarn, ya know!

Letters from Home
My mother sent me an email, informing me that my stepfather became a bit concerned while shopping recently in a Columbia Sportswear Factory Outlet Store in Portland. Apparently, there were 2 large dogs in the store (think: lab or shepherd size), and they were not service dogs. My stepfather asked the girl behind the counter about it, and she rolled her eyes at him and retorted, "Well, they're on leashes!", like that was the issue. The "back story" here is that basically, dogs are taking over Portland. Dogs, dogs everywhere you go. And they're being afforded more common courtesy than the average human being. That's the issue being taken up by my stepfather.

This being said, I must let it be known that my stepfather has a very, um, unique sense of humor. Rather than get mad, he got the email address for Columbia Sportswear's customer service department, and wrote them the following email (under my mother's email addy):

Dear Columbia Sportswear:
While shopping your company store, in Sellwood Or. I noticed two big dogs leashed to their owners. I'm concerned if this is safe? I have a monkey who I keep on a leash. He likes getting out, now I'll be able to bring him along. Also, my son has two four-legged reptiles who will enjoy the warmth of your store this winter.
Please reply,
Thank you, Judith

And Columbia replied!

Incident #041128-000138
Thank you for your request. Our consumer services department will reply to your request soon.

Power to the people, man. Happy Monday, everyone.